todays food

hey
today i had
-four liquorice
-one black coffee
-one kiwi
-one cup of tea no sugar
-one tomato
-a bit of lettuce
-one veggie burger (not with the bread)
-a big dessert with cream and stuff
i threw up the last one.

its weird, i have been doing mia stuff for so many years now..
it started when i was around 12 years old.
though one day, i got so sick of doing it that i promised myself i would never do it again. but i broke that promise all the time. especially whenever i had an icecream. it sounds really disgusting, but ice cream throws up nicely. its soft, and the taste isnt like vomit so its not a nightmare. thats why i stopped my mia, with icecream as the exception. yeah....
i did 'mia' a lot of times actually. you might say i kinda started to fall back into my bad habits.
today i did it again.
and uhmm.. im really weird in this. i actually buy the dessert, eat the dessert, with the idea in my head that its ok because im just going to throw it up later. and this thought doesnt bother me while eating it! im so disgusting, and i just confessed something i never told anyone. nobody i know will know this about me.
funny, really. i forgot how easy it is.

stay strong
marion