nice, ive lost some weight since my last post!!

not as much as id hoped, but my legs are thinner and appear longer.

i still see myself as fat next to the thinspo i like..

but summer is on its way and it gonna be short shorts - and bikini time!! hope that by then, i will be released of any ugly fatblobs in my 'feminine places'! :P

feminine curves are overrated..

x m.

since ive had so much to eat yesterday, i thought it would be a good idea to rely on my fruit fast again. by eating fruits and veggies, and nothing more, i lost a lot of weight and looked good and was healthy.

unfortunately, i not only ate

-one apple and

-some lettuce, but i also ate

-three slices of bread with honey. then i also had

-rice yoghurt with honey in it, and i ate another

-veggie burger. im just talking about the burger itself, not with the bread etc.

anyway, im feeling guilty cause it feels like i dont have the willpower that i used to have.

im disappointed with myself actually.

maybe its cause i cant really walk at the moment cause of my ankle. so i dont feel fit already. i would love some candy right now. dont think about it. sorry.

omg who am i kiddin, i just have to stop believing in my own lame excuses.. this should be the PERFECT TIME to lose weight! i dont use a lot of energy, so it should be easy to not eat a lot! i suck..

well at least im happy i didnt snack today. although a veggie burger is full of extra shit i dont need..

to be honest im almost glad i had that second burger today. they come in two packs, and now theyre gone so i dont have to think about it anymore. i know it was a bad idea to buy them, but now i realize they just dont fit into my food-intake-plan :)

anyway for drinks i had

-one black coffee

(i love brit in this pic, she looks sexy;))

"starvation sells, are you buying?"

todays food

hey
today i had
-four liquorice
-one black coffee
-one kiwi
-one cup of tea no sugar
-one tomato
-a bit of lettuce
-one veggie burger (not with the bread)
-a big dessert with cream and stuff
i threw up the last one.

its weird, i have been doing mia stuff for so many years now..
it started when i was around 12 years old.
though one day, i got so sick of doing it that i promised myself i would never do it again. but i broke that promise all the time. especially whenever i had an icecream. it sounds really disgusting, but ice cream throws up nicely. its soft, and the taste isnt like vomit so its not a nightmare. thats why i stopped my mia, with icecream as the exception. yeah....
i did 'mia' a lot of times actually. you might say i kinda started to fall back into my bad habits.
today i did it again.
and uhmm.. im really weird in this. i actually buy the dessert, eat the dessert, with the idea in my head that its ok because im just going to throw it up later. and this thought doesnt bother me while eating it! im so disgusting, and i just confessed something i never told anyone. nobody i know will know this about me.
funny, really. i forgot how easy it is.

stay strong
marion

how?

this is lindsay again.

how how how did this big girl get so thin?!

she must never eat.

random thinspo

I like to imagine to be these girls, and think about how my body would feel if it were this thin.

beautiful in skinny jeans. and confident..

girl with sunglasses; i LOVE her body

reasons to be thin

-all clothes will look good on you
-guys will be able to pick you up without struggling
-being thin shows you have excellent willpower
-you will finally be able to see your body the way its ment to be seen. pure, without fat that you dont need
-food is mean and sneaky. it tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly and unhappy
-eating little will save you money
-girls will be jealous of you
- you can sit down without worrying about that stomach bulging out
-you will feel healthier, prettier, more upbeat, happier
-your face will look like a models. more defined
-boys will notice the sexy clothes you will be able to wear
-nothing tastes as good as thin feels

new day, new way

hey guys

im so sorry i stopped posting for so long.

in the mean time i felt like it was actually a good thing. i kinda stopped thinking about thin thin thin all the time! i took a lot of danceclasses and have kept myself busy, and it wasnt even all to lose weight! great, right?

except that now i hurt my ankle, and i cant walk anymore. well, since yesterday i can walk a little. but ive been doing nothing, absolutely nothing for a week and a half now!!

first of all im bored to death! and its not like i started a new diet since i stopped moving completely..and, yeah i guess you guessed it.. here i am again. looking for thinspo on the internet, making deals with myself etc.

for the past few days ive been obsessing about the arms, waist and most importantly legs of emo girls. whats up with that scene, all the girls, and boys for that matter!! are so skinny. i think its the skinny jeans ;)

i really admire girls who get so skinny. i cant help it. i get jealous.

m